Jul 9, 2009

Dreams for the Ages

I used to dream that I was a spy. It wasn't uncommon for me to wake up in the middle of the night, soaked with sweat, fresh out of a scene from a Bourne movie (or some custom version of a similar ilk in which I was the star). In hindsight, I can pinpoint quite a few reasons why my dreams ran this course for several years. Sadly though, it seems that my days as a sleep drunken dreamer spy have gone. My oft dozing subliminal self hasn't been able to channel the always running adventurer in quite awhile.

My dreams of late are fairly focused, pinpointed on fears and a recurring scene that involves a voodoo statue and a lot of yelling on my part. They also involve the occasional bar room, with a long table and me stuck up against the wall, unable to move. If you really want to know I'll tell you, but it's kinda weird and more than a little disconcerting, so let's leave it between you and me ok?

Remember that race I was going to run last Saturday? It was awesome. Seriously a ton of fun, running through the woods, up and down steep ravines, across a waist deep river (not once, but three times) and through rocky creek beds. I'm gonna go ahead and give back the poison ivy that currently abides on both legs and my right arm. I'm also going to give back the 3 hornet stings that laid me up for 3 days. (Yes, I'm allergic, and yes I kept running and finished the last 3 miles after I got stung. . . . don't worry, my mom already yelled at me for it.) I came in 11th overall and should have been 8th, but got lost on the trail at one point and ran about 1/2 mile out of my way to get back with the pack. Finishers 8,9 and 10 were in my sights at the end and if I hadn't gotten lost I would've been in front of them no problem. I know that the title of this post was about dreams, but this kinda was one, so lay off.

Surreal moments abound. My nerve endings are finding life after a long period of numbness and it feels good to feel again. Though I'm not medicated, I find myself living again for the first time in awhile in a Garden State sort of way. The sterile, unfeeling, and very safe place where I put my heart now seems bland, un-invigorating and cold. I want some color. I'm wearing green today, but in that bar room dream, I'm wearing gray.


g13 said...

so glad you found your way out of the fucking bar.

kt :-) said...

love that you're back b...